ILLUMINATI The Musical!!!

ILLUMINATI
-- To the tune of "Eleanor Rigby"
11-07-88
Steve Jackson, Joe Vail, Creede Lambard

Illuminati...
They put a thing made of tinfoil on top of my door...
What is it for?
Illuminati...
Shooting a ray at my cornflakes to make them turn green...
What does it mean?
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

Illuminati...
Doing unspeakable things in the night to a cow...
Where are they now?
Illuminati...
Sent an impostor in place of the Popsicle man...
What is their plan?
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

Illuminati...
They cancelled Star Trek, The Fonz, and My Mother, the Car...
Are they bizarre?
You can't escape them;
Even if you take a plane to Nepal or Peru...
They'll be there, too...
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

I know that they know all about me...
They know that I know all about them...

Illuminati...
Hide their assassins' instructions in newspaper text...
Who will be next?
They're all around us...
Underline every third word in the Times and you'll see...
How can it be?
The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

They're in the attic and the cellar...
Bigger than Hunt or Rockefeller...

Illuminati...
Go through my garbage and count all the pop bottles there...
Why do they care?
They're out to get me...
They're fluoridating my water from their UFO...
What do they know?
The Illuminati... They're everywhere, I see.
The Illuminati... And no one knows but me.

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